ArcaMax

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky.

An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket.

"How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.

The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky.

"You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.

After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant, "and it took us a while to find a ...Read more

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.

The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"

After securing a promise...Read more

Question: If a rooster laid an egg on the top of a barn, which way would it roll?
Answer: Neither, roosters don't lay eggs.

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: Because the rooster egged her on.

Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be!

Question: Why can't ...Read more

After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting.

Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go?

The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round ... making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was.

The second was a blonde ...Read more

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.

Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the ...Read more

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.

"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"

"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.

The ...Read more

There was once a hillbilly who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it.

Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a hillbilly and ...Read more

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.