ArcaMax

Dear Readers: Today is Father's Day, a day that means something different to each of us. For some, it is a time to fire up the grill, hand Dad a new set of tools and enjoy the kind of quiet, comfortable time that fathers often prefer. For others, it is a bittersweet day, filled with memories, longing or unresolved emotions. Wherever you find yourself today, this letter is for you.

If your dad is still with you, pick up the phone. Sit beside him. Ask him about his childhood, his first job or how he met your mom. Dads are not always the first to speak, but they often have stories that will surprise you. And more importantly, take a moment to say thank you. Thank him for the countless small things he has done that may have gone unnoticed: the rides to school, the late nights worrying, the way he always made sure the car was full of gas before you left for college. It is easy to take those acts of love for granted. Please do not.

For those whose fathers have passed, I know today can be especially tender. Maybe it is your first Father's Day without him, or maybe he has been gone for years but the ache still catches you off guard. There is no expiration date on grief, and there is no right way to mourn. Some people light a candle or visit a gravesite. Others hear his favorite song and smile or cry. Honor your father in whatever way feels right. Remember that love does not end. It just changes shape.

If your relationship with your father was strained or painful, I see you, too. This holiday can be hard when the man who should have protected you did not or could not. You are allowed to feel conflicted. Many people find peace by honoring the father figures who stepped in when it counted: the stepdad who showed up, the grandpa who raised you, the teacher who believed in you, the neighbor who taught you how to fix a leaky faucet. Fatherhood is about showing up, and those men deserve our gratitude, too.

And to all the dads out there, the ones changing diapers, coaching little league, helping with homework, working two jobs or quietly worrying about their kids late into the night, this day is for you. Your efforts matter, even if they do not always get the applause they deserve. Your strength, your patience, your quiet sacrifices leave a legacy that your children will carry with them for life.

So today, whether you are honoring a beloved dad, remembering a lost one, healing from a difficult past or celebrating the men who stepped in with a father's heart, know that you are not alone. Father's Day is a chance to reflect, to feel, to forgive and to celebrate the kind of love that leaves a lasting mark.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.