ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past few months, IÕve been seeing this guy, going on a few dates and hanging out with him in social settings. Lately, there have been a lot of things going on in my personal life with my family, and I donÕt think IÕm in the right headspace to be there for him. We were never technically a couple, but we were working toward getting there.

The other day, I texted my guy telling him that I think we should just be friends. He told me he understood and asked if I needed anything. He is still being extremely flirtatious, even asking me if friends can still kiss. I like him, but I know IÕm not ready for a relationship and donÕt want to hurt him. How can I make him understand that IÕm not in the right headspace to date him without hurting his feelings? -- Friend Zone

DEAR FRIEND ZONE: Decide if flirting without strings works for you. You enjoy his company. If you think you can continue to do that casually without feeling the need to commit, maybe he can be fun for this time in your life. If you fear that you may develop feelings for him -- or vice versa -- that could lead to confusion and pain, stay firm and stop going out with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: IÕm in the process of looking for an apartment with two of my friends before heading into my senior year of college. Their budget is a little lower than mine, making it unrealistic for us to get an apartment near school, nor get the amenities that I want. A dishwasher and in-unit washer and dryer would make my life way easier, and itÕs looking like thatÕs unlikely. Recently, another friend who has a similar budget to mine asked if I would like to look for apartments with her.

IÕm at a crossroads, and I donÕt know what to do. I donÕt want my original two friends to get mad at me for deciding to get an apartment with someone else, but I would be able to live closer to school and get the amenities I want. I think IÕm leaning toward getting the apartment with the other friend closer to school. How can I break the news to my friends with minimal fallout? -- Apartment Hunting

APARTMENT HUNTING: Think about who you believe you would be most comfortable living with among your friend choices. The biggest challenge will be being in the company of these people on a daily basis. Think about personalities, anything you know about how they live now, etc.

If you still think that the person with the bigger budget is right for you, go to your other friends and tell them that you have changed your mind and you no longer want to move with them. Be honest but not brutal. Explain that you want to live closer to campus and you want certain amenities that arenÕt in the collective budget. Since that is important to you, you will be seeking accommodations that match your desires. Tell them as soon as possible so that they donÕt get caught without enough support to be able to meet their needs.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.