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Single File: Turn the Tables

Susan Dietz on

Let's celebrate your singleness in a new way, making the celebration a family affair. After all, the most telling show of your enhanced pride will be with your parents, those people of a different generation who do their very best to understand yours. They may not always fully "get" the message in your undependence, but in the end, their devotion to you supersedes all else. Or should. Still, you've got to do your part in this family melodrama by understanding where they're coming from. To them, ladies, you're a fragile lily in need of constant care and protection. That means, in their minds, getting a devoted man in your life to take on the role of husband, aka full-time guardian. Fine, say I. But what about giving the little lady some adult space to discover who she is, now that she's of age? A chance to be on her own, to discover herself? A chance to sprout wings and fly? Time on her own to be with this woman she's become?

Your mom may get the point. Then again, it could be your dad who's reading you well. In time, they both will appreciate your budding independence, beaming proudly when the conversation with friends turns to children. No apology for your single state but instead strong pride in your ambition to carve out a life for yourself.

So then, what are we doing right now, you and I? We're discussing turning the tables on your beloved parents, taking them to dinner as a single (ahem, dateless) woman! You've probably thought about it, dreamily considering which expensive restaurant to take them to and how you'll arrange to pay the check out of sight.

And, most importantly, there's another reason that heralding your singleness should involve your mom and dad. Until you resolve your conflicts about them, until you see them as mere mortals and equals, you'll be only partially adult, not ready to assume ownership of your life.

I promise that as long as single life is my mission, you'll receive allusions to the good people who bore and bred you. They are the most powerful influences on your psyche, and their imprint needs to be sorted out and resolved before you can truly bask in the sunshine of your personhood.

 

Questions? Comments? They are all most welcome. Always.

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Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks - in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.


 

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