ArcaMax

Dear Annie: In a nutshell: I have been off social media for about five years, and this year I have made it a resolution to reduce my screen time. My screen time average is down to about an hour a day. If I had a way to measure it, I'd say my mental health has improved greatly.

A year or two before Covid, I decided I was tired of getting into pointless arguments with people I don't even know, so I removed myself from all social media. I had to "white knuckle" it for the 30 days that they leave your account available in case you want to come back. The downside for me is that if I want to see photos of my children on vacation, or my granddaughter doing anything at all, I can't just click. I have asked my children to just text me photos instead. The upside for me is more peace of mind, maybe even better mental health.

From my social media-free point of view, it looks like a lot of people are basing their relationships to families and friends on the artificial construct that is social media. One friend breaks down in tears regularly, heartbroken, when telling me one of her children has posted something hurtful or has "unfriended" her on Facebook. They live within a 10-minute drive of each other, and they both have phones. Why not talk face to face instead of Facebook, or pick up the dang phone and have a real conversation?

I can't for the life of me figure out why our society has given social media so much control over our lives. It's great to fire off a text for a quick check in, or for me to see those photos that would ordinarily go to Facebook or Instagram. I email my children when I need to send them something in an attachment, or maybe a link to something I have read that they may be interested in. I have one daughter in the Midwest and one on the East Coast. We talk on the phone at least four or five times a week.

I have also been relying on the United States Postal Service a lot, particularly postcards. I put one in the mail every Monday morning to my granddaughter in the Midwest. I have a stack of Disney princess postcards and baby animal ones. My daughter tells me my granddaughter keeps them in a special box and brings them out to "read" to her stuffed animal friends. I refer to them as physical texts. The postage is less than a regular stamp, and I'm supporting the postal service -- which, by the way, is not relying on federal funds; it's self-supporting. I have a postcard penpal that I keep up with, and usually after a party or celebration at my house, I'll send postcards to my guests to thank them for showing up.

I worry about our society in general becoming too reliant on technology. I see it as a tool that, when used sensibly, is beneficial, but when allowed to consume our lives can be destructive.

Thank you for the advice you give in your column, it's the first thing I read in the morning with my coffee. -- Screen Time

Dear Screen Time: This letter is a breath of fresh air. When used intentionally, technology can indeed be a fantastic tool -- but mindless scrolling is the source of so much anxiety, social comparison, and feelings of inadequacy. Thank you for sharing these thoughtful examples.

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Annie Lane's second anthology -- "How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.